The Balancing Act of Marriage

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

Oscar Wilde

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Michel de Montaigne

Recently my wife and I bought two paddle boards to use in our lake. The idea, which came from somewhere in that area of our brains where we also make New Year’s resolutions and start new diets, was that it would be a great way to get some exercise.

With the other board being occupied by other family members, my wife and I decided to go out on the remaining board together…you know, a romantic paddle in the lake. She sat in the front and I stood behind and started paddling. This was a first time event for both of us and the board was not as stable as I had hoped. With every small shift in weight as I paddled, both of us would make compensating weight shifts to try to keep the board from tipping.

We probably looked like we both had some sort of palsy. The board glided forward with each stroke but teetered and tottered the whole time. We both worked to keep from tipping over but it was hard. I finally told her to stop trying to compensate for the weight shift at the same time that I was trying to compensate because I could not factor in her compensating moves while making my compensating moves…(as if I could really do that…).

She stopped and within seconds we rolled the board and both of us ended up in the water. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. Of course she let me know that it was when she stopped being part of the balancing that all things fell apart.


It is so true..especially in marriage. When two people are working together and one person tries to dominate the result is not pretty. We also found out that after we had fallen it was much easier to get back up on the board if we helped each other. It requires both people intensely trying to keep things balanced that keeps a marriage afloat. That short but fun trip on the lake reminded me that perhaps the physical paddle board exercise I was expecting, while important, does not come close to the mental exercise that marriage requires to be healthy, happy and balanced.

HighFive Your Life Principle:  Let both parties participate in the shifting and balancing that is required so that  your marriage  may survive, flourish and stay afloat.

One thought on “The Balancing Act of Marriage”

  1. Great story of fun and wisdom, Scott and I did the exact same thing with a canoe, I’m not such a great swimmer and was laughing so hard, I could have drown, but he kept me up losing his shoes, the small ice chest w/ pop and the camera, but a trip we will never forget. Oh, and by the way, I knew that an alligator was going to eat us up at any minute!! Both had to help pull each other in after we righted the canoe!! LOL 🙂

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