Good Grief!…Good Heavens!

Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Mark Twain

Good grief!…good heavens! I have heard those terms my whole life and never thought twice about what they might mean or if they meant anything at all. It makes me think of Charlie Brown and it seems like they are always used to express some sort of surprise, disbelief or disdain. I think I can do a better job defining them so that they actually mean something to me.

My father died in 2005 from AD. He suffered many years prior to his death and during the last several years was unaware of his surroundings. I miss my father. I love my father.

Sometimes I reflect on what he would do or say or think if he came back. In many ways nothing has changed. Most of the roads are still the same. The same trees would be there in his yard if he went home. There might be a few new rules in the NFL or MLB but his favorite teams would still be playing.

Only the new tech advances would throw him for a loop. Otherwise he could step right back into his life. I enjoy thinking about his company…I enjoy thinking about what he would do if he came back. Oh how much I would love to talk with him…to have his energy and wisdom to help solve our current challenges. I grieve for him but in a happy way. This is what I want to call “good grief”. I love my father and I love being with him even if only in thought and in spirit.

As a continuation of this line of thinking, I hope to be with him one day when I leave this wonderful earth.  It is not just a thought…it is a hope. I hope and have faith that there is a place for us after death where we will be reunited. It is nothing that I can prove. It is my faith…I just believe it. That is how I will define “good heavens”.

These two phrases can work together in a positive way if we just consider them for their face value. Because Heaven is good, my grief can be good. It is just a reflection and anticipation of being again with someone you miss and love. Good Grief…Good Heavens…My mind may be as simple as Charlie Brown’s but that sounds good to me!

We can also redefine our attitudes when circumstances would tell us that we need to stress, fret, or be sad. “I lost my job or my lover. I failed at this or that”. Tough things happen to each one of us and our reactions to them are subject to how we define these tough moments.

I have a friend that when presented with personal challenges and failures just asks himself, “what am I supposed to learn from this?” and then he gets back up and starts trying again. He has an amazingly positive attitude even though he has signficant challenges. It’s okay to change the rules every now and then. Try it. Take the liberty to redefine your life circumstances one situation at a time and see if you don’t like the difference.

HighFive Your Life Principle:  The two phrases “good grief” and “good heavens” go hand in hand to reflect my positive thoughts about the future instead of  negative thoughts about the present. We define our circumstances by our attitude.

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