“If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you are with.”
I was so amazed the other day to see a frog on one of our windows that had changed its color to match our window panes. It was almost an insult that it did not change to a nice clean white color but chose to also reflect all of the dirt and stains on my panes in its new color!
What an amazing feat to have such adaptability. It makes me ponder how we find the right balance between holding on to who we are and what we believe, while also meshing and mixing in with people who do not think like we do but are still pretty neat and amazing people.
We should never feel the need to change who we are due to surrounding pressures and circumstances. However, the very strength that comes from knowing who you are, should also make you comfortable, “fitting in” and integrating into the people around you.
For example, growing up, I did not drink but most of my friends did. I did not feel a need to change to gain their friendship. I loved my friends and therefore did not try to cramp their style. If they wanted a beer, they had a beer. I just enjoyed my non-alcoholic drink and was the permanent designated driver.
Another example is my faith and affiliation to my church. I am very committed to my faith but I am also very comfortable and enjoy the congregation and services of other faiths when I am in their presence. My faith does not make for awkward moments around people with other beliefs or of no belief at all. I can blend with my friends and support them in their special spiritual moments.
So next time you feel like you are personally being challenged by a situation that makes you feel awkward and defensive, lighten up, hold on to your values and principles and love the people around you. You can always contribute positively to a situation without overwhelming your friends with your principles and your beliefs. Let them show in your actions of love and inclusiveness instead of insecurities and defensiveness. You can always maintain your good judgment and know when the environment is too much in conflict with your standards and you can politely excuse yourself.
When in Rome you can find a place where you can do some things as the Romans do without compromising the way that you personally do things. Being strong in your principles does not mean you cannot be flexible in the application of those principles. Your adaptability does not mean you give up “territory”. Indeed, you will find that exactly the opposite is true. You will find that your sphere of influence will grow and your love for the people around you will increase.
The ability of the frog to match its surroundings does not make it a window pane. It is still a frog. You will still be you even when you adapt to those around you…maybe even a better you!
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