Should My Wife Pick Up the Dead Roach?

“And what, Socrates, is the food of the soul? Surely, I said, knowledge is the food of the soul.”
Plato

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The other day I saw a huge dead roach on the floor and the thought of picking it up to discard it was disgusting. Then in a flash of male brilliance, it occurred to me that it would be best for me to leave it right where it was so that when my wife discovered it later on in the day, she would know that the pest service was working. I left it right where it was with only a tinge of lingering guilt.

A few days later, I saw another big dead roach on the floor and went through a similar thought process. After all thought I, knowledge is the food of the soul…or was that Plato that said that? Regardless, I left it for my wife to see and do with as she wanted but was comforted that she would have increased knowledge regarding the success of our pest control.

Later, when I came upon the third dead roach, I decided to actually take a picture of it and write down a few thoughts. Of course, I could not take just one picture. I had to get down real low and get different angles to get the best shot possible. It took several minutes to get a real good shot. I could no longer justify leaving it there so I picked it up and tossed it in the trash can. My wife will just have to suffer through not having the added information and knowledge.

As I reflected on the poor dead fellow in the picture below, he started looking pretty familiar. Then a light went off and I realized that it was just a picture of me…wow…what I cad I had been.

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Alas, the male brain can justify about anything. It is a highly capable self serving mass that seems dormant most of the day but occasionally turns on to take care of needs and wants (mostly wants) only to soon return to its dormant state.

But there is hope…because when you have been married long enough, your wife does not even have to be present to prod you towards improvement. There is an emotional encouragement (nagging) chip that each wife implants in her husband’s brain right after the wedding ceremony.  Throughout your marriage, she encodes signals that somehow know when to surface with their messages of encouragement (nagging). The male brain tries to suppress it but when presented with enough constant and solid evidence, the chip will take charge of the male brain. It comes to life when you have been lazy or incompetent and demands a better performance. My wife may be sleeping or even out of the country but that chip she planted in my head is always just one bag of  BBQ chips away.

So, I guess it is nice to know that our pest control works and that I have been able to serve my family well by getting that information to my wife. In an effort to improve the information flow and increase of knowledge between my wife and me, I will look for other ways to help.  For example, I also want her to know when I eat all of my vegetables at dinner so I am going to start leaving my empty dishes on the table as proof. Surely she will be happy to know each time that I am a member of the clean plate club…surely she…..bzzt….ow! Turn it off…please!

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