Never Honk Your Horn at Your Wife
“Patience is not simply the ability to wait – it’s how we behave while we’re waiting.”
The horn on your vehicle is mean to be used as a communications tool for safety purposes. It can say, hey look over here…or hey get out of my way…or hey after you. It was never meant to be used as an expression of anger or intolerance though often it is used precisely that way.
Some men have mistakenly used their horn as a ventriloquist would…as if what they are trying to communicate is less hurtful coming from the car instead of from them. Picture the man in the car in the driveway waiting for his wife to come out so they can leave for their very important whatever. He has been sitting patiently for 23 seconds and wants to send a message to her that his time is more valuable than hers and that if she could plan better and get dressed more quickly, they would not always be late for their whatever. He does not want to get back out of the car to help her…nor does he want to shout so the neighbors hear.
He knows he can’t say what he really feels. He thinks in his small brain that a simple toot on the horn will magically communicate with the taste, discretion and respect that a Papal ambassador might use, that she may have forgotten that they are in a hurry to get to their whatever and that with that gentle coaxing she will suddenly solve whatever is keeping her and she will do cartwheels to the car, thank him for the reminder and give him a kiss on the cheek…somehow, he is sure that the small toot will mask his true impatient thoughts and feelings.
Of course, the toot of the horn instead communicates exactly what he is thinking with all of the polish of an angry wild boar and what she hears is…hey woman…drop whatever unimportant thing that you are doing and get yourself in my car.
Wouldn’t it be funny if she had a horn that she could toot back at him? Well…it wouldn’t be a toot…it would be more like a fog horn and it would say something like…do you have any idea what I am doing around here all day?…do you know that we can’t leave without giving instructions to our babysitter?…do you know that the dress I had on was wrinkled and now nothing matches?…do you think that I can walk out leaving clothes on the floor and wet towels hanging on the backs of chairs?… if you were not such a lazy selfish man you would give me a little help and consideration around here and we would get to our whatever in plenty of time. That is what the fog horn would say loudly and clearly.
There is nothing in the vocabulary of your horn that is polite to your wife…not even a little toot. Next time you get that feeling to send a love note via the horn, you would be much better off to just get out of the car, go back in the house and put your wet town back on the towel rack. Oh yeah…maybe even walk your wife to the car and open the door for her…that also speaks volumes.
HighFive Your Life Principle
Use the language of love to communicate your feelings not the language of your car horn.
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